Tuesday, December 27, 2005

fuck audible.com

Alright, I've been keeping my ranting and raving on here to a minimum, but I discovered something this morning that's got me seriously pissed off. Audible.com (which I refuse to link to) has started a lighthearted parody campaign of the American Library Association's "Read" posters. You know the ones--they feature celebrities endorsing not books, but the act of reading in and of itself. Audible.com has started a "Don't Read" series of advertisements, featuring people holding headphones. I realize that this is lighthearted and intended to be amusing, but what kind of bullshit message is "Don't Read"? I honestly don't care that two of their top-selling downloads are Brave New World and The Canterbury Tales. If you can't be bothered to actually read those books, then you haven't read them. "I listened to it." Screw you, pal. Is it really worth $100 to download some guy reading "ulysses" just so you can say you "read" it? If you really want to have the experience of that book, you really, really have to read it.

Hey, if you want to download the latest John Grisham formulaic piece of shit drivel, go right ahead. But if you can't be bothered to sit down and read, maybe you should re-organize your priorities. Turn off whatever bullshit "reality" television show you're watching, sit down, and read, for fuck's sake. What's really nauseating is people who argue that "listening is just the same as reading because you have to constantly pay attention." Bullshit. Reading is interactive. You imagine the setting, the characters, the voices. Listening is like a radio play, which, while cool in and of itself (The Shadow, anyone?), it's NOT reading. It's better than television, I suppose, but it's NOT reading.

I realize I'm taking this WAY too seriously and I should probably just relax, but I read for a living, I read for pleasure, I read to READ. I've never dabbled in audiobooks, and if Audible.com is going to tell people not to read, but to be a passive receptor of culture and genius (or, in the case of whatever flavor-of-the-month name-brand book-factory-author they're touting as the new whatever, drivel)? Screw 'em.


Blogger danzp said...

that campaign sounds utterly gross and i'm totally for your tearing them a new one for it. reading is a unique experience, and no pod can duplicate it. rage on, brother!

9:41 AM  

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