Monday, June 11, 2007

How to get a free rental car

A honeymoon anecdote:

Kim's grandmother lives in St. Augustine, and she was unable to come up to Chicago for our wedding. We went to Florida for our honeymoon, so on Thursday we rented a car to drive up to see her. The guy (who looked just like Sean Astin) from the rental place picked us up at our hotel and drove us to their office. We filled out the requisite paperwork, and he took us out to the car. He went over the exterior, cataloguing the minor bumps and scratches, then opened the car to take a quick peek inside. On the floor of the driver's side was a half-empty bottle of ephedrine (or some other over-the-counter speed alternative). He tried to brush it off, but when he discovered the empty condom wrapper under the driver's seat, we started to wonder just what had gone on in that car.

We drove to St. Augustine, had a great time with Kim's grandmother, her Uncle David, and cousin Stephanie, then drove back down to Orlando.

At some point during the drive, I opened the glove compartment only to discover an empty bottle of KY Jelly. It was empty not because whoever had used the car previously had had such a great time, but because they had neglected to put the cap on correctly and it had leaked all over the inside of the glovebox.

Ever seen Ghostbusters? You know the scene in the library where they're trying to collect the ectoplasm? It was like that.

When we took the car back, I said to the Sean Astin guy "I just want you to know, we didn't make the mess in the glovebox." His interest (and perhaps horror) was piqued, so he came out to take a look. It was hard to tell what the ratio of amusement to embarassment was, but it was clearly a little of both. Since we'd returned the car the same day, and hadn't even gone very far, and because we were subject to, shall we say, extreme circumstances, Mr. Astin was kind enough to tell us we didn't need to pay.

So, to recap. To get a free rental car, make sure the glovebox is full of personal lubricant.

1 Comments:

Blogger Unreal Real said...

Dude, the Miles rocks. Thanks again.

8:06 PM  

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